“Those who speak for themselves want glory only for themselves, but a person who seeks to honor the One who sent him speaks truth, not lies” John 7:18.
Have you ever sat and listened to someone talk about themselves? There are times when I have had to and was amazed at how they either brag so much that I nearly want to leave the room or vomit. Then there are those who tear themselves down so much that you get a physically ill feeling for them, you wonder what would have happened for them to have such little value of themselves. Where is the middle ground?
Years ago, I displayed both sides of the coin. First, I was the one who didn’t deserve anything and felt as though I was less than dirt. I was mistreated by several people, growing up, that I believed I was nothing more than trash. Whenever I heard anyone say anything negative about me, instead of defending myself, I agreed! I believed the lies and therefore lived in such a way. I didn’t care about my appearance or the care of my home. I feel into a depression and hated the world. I closed myself off from life. But then I obtained a job, by some miracle, that required me to be better because it was a job with status.
Instead of being humbled and honored by it though, I sucked it all in as though it was life-giving. My head began to swell the more knowledge I obtained and I gave myself far too much credit for how I was doing. I never acknowledged Who got me there, what I was being taught, or my lack of skills. You would have thought that I ran the show the way I trampled over everyone who came in my path, with my boasting of success. With massive success came a gut wrenching feeling of displeasure that I could not shake.
Despite my rude and full-of-myself attitude, I was asked to speak at a convention. I heard the Lord tell me, “you speak for me!” It wasn’t in a way that He was acknowledging that I am already doing that but in a way the implied, “enough about you (Sarah), more about Me.” Woo talk about getting the wind let out of your sails. So I did what I thought I needed to do, PRAYED, a lot.
I asked the Lord to fill my mouth with only His words. To remind me that this is for His glory and not mine. To steer me back in His presence if I begin to veer off into talking about me. I asked Him to bring the Holy Spirit upon me so that I may know to follow His guidance, even if it means leaving my notes behind.
Well the day came, after weeks of preparation. I prayed one last time, before taking the stage, that He would fill me with peace and to speak only for Him who sent me. I was so blessed that it went off without a hitch. In fact, afterwards there were people coming up to me telling me they appreciated me saying certain things that I could not even remember saying. Since that time, anytime I am asked to speak I begin to get excited and feel nervous. I want to represent God well so I get nervous because my desire to speak for Him is greater than me and those are some BIG shoes to fill. I pray each time that He allows His words to flow through me in a peaceful way that speaks to the souls of those listening.
I have reached yet another instance where I am doing just that. I am in the process of being interviewed by several agencies about starting my practicum hours for my Master’s degree. I will be required to talk about myself but I want to do so in a way that honors the Lord without pushing people around. It is my desire, in these next few weeks of meeting with possibly non-Christian bosses, that I give glory to God because He is Who sent me.
Not Yet But Getting There! (notyetproverbs31.com)
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