Confession time: I turn 27 in about six weeks and I am sort of freaking out. Not in a good way, like “YAAAAY it’s my birthday!!”…more along the lines of “what have I done with my life so far?!”. At times I feel like I should have done more, or at least something greater, with my life. Why do I think that? Because society, even Christian society, has convinced me there is a life checklist that we must all fill out. And that, my friends, is a lie.
I’m sure we can think of some of the things that secular society has lied to us as women in general.
“You need to dress a certain way to get a man!”
“Feminism is the way to go!”
“Only look out for your own interests!”
“Kids are an hindrance to your goals in life!”
“Lying to your husband is fine!”
But we know none of those things are true, right? I mean, as Christian women we have to accept that we will likely always be different from the norm. Most of us are okay with that. But even among Christians, there are still lies about womanhood circulating. Why do we believe them? Is it because they sound good and rational, and come from sources we think are trustworthy? Perhaps it is because some of us are still new Christians and are not yet able to discern the Biblical truths from heresy. In no particular order, here are some lies we believe as Christian women.
We need to be married to find happiness.
Honestly, this is one I believed for so long. In Genesis 2:18 it says:
Then the Lord God said, “It is not good that the man should be alone; I will make him a helper fit for him.”
So we assume that means being married is in God’s original design for humanity. While I don’t doubt that it was His plan, young ladies waiting around for their future husbands to fulfill them is a dangerous game. Relying on ANYONE but God for happiness will surely disappoint in the long run. Only God can truly satisfy us, and seeking Him more will in turn bring happiness to our life.
For You, O LORD, have made me glad by what You have done, I will sing for joy at the works of Your hands. Psalm 92:4
We are not allowed to work outside the home.
Shocker here…God doesn’t tell us that scripture! He makes it known in several passages that women should make their homemaking a priority (Titus 2:3-5, 1 Timothy 5:13-15, Proverbs 31:27-28, to name a few), but working outside the home is not a sin! I personally believe that all women are called to be keepers of their home, but many of us (myself included) have had to look for outside work for various reasons. I think the important thing to remember is that there are accounts of women working in the Bible, and that we need to seek God’s will for us in this matter. Are we working for personal satisfaction and neglecting our homes? If so, that may be a reason to reevaluate our priorities. As for women working in the Bible, we have the example of Lydia (Acts 16) and the ideal Proverbs 31 woman (verses 18 and 24). Ultimately, working outside the home is a choice you and your husband (or father, if you are unmarried and under his authority) need to prayerfully make.
If any of you lacks wisdom, you should ask God, who gives generously to all without finding fault, and it will be given to you. James 1:5
Submission to our husbands or fathers is an outdated Biblical concept.
Oh friends, I feel as though I could write a whole BOOK on this! I have personally found that many Christian women I know do not feel like they need to follow the Biblical command of submitting to their husband’s authority. I am specifically addressing wives here because parental submission is often easier for people to understand and accept, but marital seems to be an issue. Did you know that marital submission is mentioned six times in the New Testament (Colossians 3:18, 1 Timothy 2:11, Titus 2:5 , 1 Peter 3:1, 1 Corinthians 14:34 Ephesians 5: 22)? That may not seem like a lot, but it is more than once, so I am taking that to mean it is important! Since this topic was written about in letters to early churches, modern day Christian use that as an excuse to disregard it, saying that is was only for a specific culture or region. But I personally feel that it is most certainly still applicable today, since it was mentioned so frequently! This is a topic I could literally go on and on about, but no amount my me blabbering will convince someone to see the validity of this command. It is truly something a woman needs to desire in her heart.
Wives, be subject to your own husbands, as to the Lord. Ephesians 5:22
There is one modesty standard for us all.
Here at A Pinch of faith, we believe in women wearing skirts instead of pants. But my views are different from your views. My standards are different than your standards. My convictions are different from your convictions. Modesty is not a one size fits all solution, contrary to what you may have heard. We often refer to the instruction in 1 Timothy 2:9 that says “I also want the women to dress modestly, with decency and propriety, adorning themselves, not with elaborate hairstyles or gold or pearls or expensive clothes” and twist that to say that one form of modesty is better than others. But while you may enjoy wearing floor length skirts and high-buttoned blouses, I am not comfortable in that. Similarly, I am fine wearing sleeveless tops but you may not be comfortable doing so. I am not wrong, you are not wrong. If we truly seek God and desire to show our respect for Him and ourselves through modest dress, I believe we are on the right track. We should be desiring to live in a modest way that crosses every part of our lives, from dress to speech.
I also want the women to dress modestly, with decency and propriety, adorning themselves, not with elaborate hairstyles or gold or pearls or expensive clothes, but with good deeds, appropriate for women who profess to worship God. 1 Timothy 2:9-10
Sisters, I hope that you can see how some of things we may have been told are misguided, and untrue against Biblical standards. Whenever we hear something that sounds like it may not be 100% Biblically sound, I hope that we can all have the wisdom to search out the answers in Scripture.
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